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The strong connection we can have with words is amazing. I'm a deep lover of words. I collect poems and quotes and firmly believe in their power to uplift and inspire. Incorporating someone else's words, a favorite piece of poetry or selection from a novel is a great way to personalize your ceremony, as well as imbue it with that wonderful feeling and strong emotion that only well-written words can instill.

When I'm writing a wedding ceremony and want to include someone else's words, the first thing I think about is, “What is the theme of this wedding?”

Finding Words to Fit Inspiration
I'm not just considering the actual theme of the wedding, as the bride and groom have set forth (like Autumn, Rock & Roll, Vintage Glam, Renaissance, Literature), but the direction that I see the ceremony going in. I consider the relationship of the couple, their love story and sense of humor.

For example, I officiated a wedding that took place in the couple's backyard. This couple was all about family, and focused on turning their house into a home for their family. I immediately jumped online and began searching to find some quotes that I could use in their ceremony. And I found the perfect quote!

As someone once said, “It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.” Tom and Jeannie have opened their hearts not only to each other, but to everyone in their lives. This love is what makes their house into a home.

I always ask my couples who their favorite artists, performers, authors and heroes are. This gives me another jump-off point to find beautiful words that really fit well with the rest of the ceremony.

For a recent wedding I officiated, the bride told me she loves Abraham Lincoln. I don't think most people would think to include a quote by President Lincoln in a wedding ceremony, but I found this lovely quote that felt very much like the couple. I included it in the end of their “love story” portion of the ceremony.

And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

As the bride's love for President Lincoln was a bit of an inside joke, I got a few laughs with the quote.

Finding Inspiration from Words
Oftentimes, couples will give me a poem or reading they would like to incorporate in their ceremony. I often use these readings or poems as a way to extrapolate the theme of the ceremony, the overall feeling that the couple would like their wedding to evoke. Instead of trying to figure out the theme from the ceremony outline and then find a quote, I take the quote, find the theme and keep that in mind when writing the ceremony. It's kind of like the text version of those wedding inspiration boards - a poem or reading suggestion can help me better understand what a couple is looking for.

I had a bride this past summer that came to our meeting with two passages she just loved and wanted to include in her ceremony. They also wanted a very short ceremony, with little to no “love story” included. I adapted the passages into their love story, relating it to their relationship and lives. I think it worked out really well…

A good marriage must be created.
In a marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person - it is being the right partner.

Lynn and Joe have clearly found the right partner in each other. Joe says that Lynn is his inspiration. Her selflessness, big heart and drive to help others never ceases to amaze him.
The love and support that Lynn receives from Joe have been above and beyond her wildest dreams. She admires the way he cares for her, provides for her and protects her. She says that he is always willing to help others, through good and bad, no matter how tough it is - whatever it takes.

Joe and Lynn, today you are marrying the right person - you have found your perfect partner. It brings us immense happiness to see that you have found each other and to witness your marriage today.

I love that passage - it's in my celebrant arsenal. I like to use it in my closing remarks. Thanks, Lynn!

Joe & Lynn during the love story portion of the ceremony

Ways to Include Words in Your Ceremony
You've probably heard of the old standard to include poetry or a text selection in your wedding - add a reader to your program. This is an especially nice way to include family members, close friends or bridal party members into your ceremony. Make sure that you've told them beforehand that they're going to be reading, and if at all possible send them a copy via email so they can become familiar with the reading.

I always bring a copy for the readers, so they don't have to worry about folding a piece of paper and sticking it in their pockets or purse. Talk to your officiant about it, or see if you can leave a copy at the front, on your props table - it makes everything run much more smoothly if they don't have to worry about that extra piece of paper.

The Matron of Honor reads E.E. Cummings

As I've mentioned, if the couple doesn't want to have a reader, I will often use the selection in the ceremony itself - perhaps in the love story portion or the closing remarks. I like to weave it seamlessly into the ceremony, so it doesn't feel weird to have me all of a sudden speaking in verse or reciting Shakespearean sonnets.

You can also include a quote or short poem in your programs or even on your invitations! This is a really nice way to have the theme of your ceremony expanded throughout your wedding.

Something I love to do is to include readings in the vows. I recently found a poem that just took my breath away (it makes me cry each time I read it); it spoke really clearly to me.  I can't share it here because my fiancé reads my blog, but I've tucked it away to use in my own wedding vows.

Also, please feel free to think outside of the box! I've had couples incorporate song quotes from musicals in their vows, read song lyrics like a poem or put a poem to music! You could also recite a passage in two languages (a great way to have a bilingual touch to your ceremony!). The possibilities of including other people's words in your ceremony are near endless and incredibly inspiring. Start your own quote collection today!