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I have a lot of brides who cringe when I ask them if they'd like to see their groom before the ceremony. “It's tradition. I don't want to jinx anything,” is a common answer. Do you know how this tradition came about? Kate Mann looked into it and found this excerpt from Emily Post:
Can't I see my fiancée before the wedding on the big day?
Q: My mother insists that I not see my bride-to-be on the day of the wedding until the ceremony. Is this customary in today's weddings?
A: Most couples today have disregarded the musty old superstition of the bridegroom not seeing his bride before the ceremony on the day of the wedding. The superstition stems from the days when marriages were arranged and the groom might never have seen the bride. There was a chance that he might take one look at her and bolt – so it was often safer for them to meet for the first time at the altar! This, of course, is a custom that these days certainly does not need to be followed, unless of course it's something you both feel strongly about.
So, since that really isn't the case too often anymore, why not consider this taboo? Not only is it a great way to schedule your photos and ensure you enjoy your cocktail hour, but the moment when you first see each other is always magical- beyond words actually.
That's why I asked three fabulous photographers in New England to send me some of their favorite “First Moment” shots. Take a look and tell me you wouldn't love to experience this yourself? 
![[liesl1.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/liesl11.jpg)
![[DinaSerge140.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/dinaser1.jpg)
![[DinaSerge149.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/dinaser01.jpg)
![[liesl2.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/liesl2.jpg)
![[liesl3.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/liesl3.jpg)
![[liesl4.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/liesl4.jpg)
![[liesl5.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/liesl5.jpg)
Photos by Liesl Clark, Claris Photography
![[Salter0120.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/salter0.jpg)
![[Salter0060.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/salter0011.jpg)
![[Salter0061.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/salter0021.jpg)
![[claudia4.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/claudia1.jpg)
![[claudia1.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/claudia011.jpg)
![[claudia2.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/claudia021.jpg)
![[claudia3.jpg]](http://www.weddingbeepro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/claudia031.jpg)
Photos by Claudia Kronenberg
Photos by Emilie Inc.
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They hubby and I had a “first look” before the ceremony and am sooo glad we did. Besides the fact that it made for great photos, I got to have an intimate moment with him. It really was one of my favorite parts of the day.
I am for sure bookmarking this post to show my traditional parents to help with our decision to have a “first look” … I think they will be okay with it but I think they are afraid of the unknown.
I really regret not seeing my hubs before the ceremony and taking pictures then. I love the “first moment” shots!
We took all our pictures during the cocktail hour which ran long. Which in turn kept our guests waiting way too long and really put a damper on the flow of the night. =\
I always tear up when I see a Groom’s first impression. Can’t wait for my first look with my hubby-to-be!!
Darn! The first one got me teary at work!
Aww I love these! We didn’t do one because my husband really felt strongly about not seeing me until I walked down the aisle, and I am forever thankful that my photographer was facing my husband as I appeared. My photog got a bunch of photos in rapid succcession, and you can just TELL the moment he sees me. Gosh, I do love these photos though… I think it makes for a special moment either way!
I’m still thinking about this. I like the moment of coming down the asile, but I think it would be nice to get more of the pics done ahead, but one issue with that is our wedding is at 1:00pm and I already think we are really going to need to start getting ready early.
I’m also woried about the mid-day light, although I’m getting married Octoer 31st.
we are doing a first look before the ceremony. i’m really excited because it’s a chance for us to spend some of the first moments on our wedding day together.
We’re doing a first look, and I’m SO looking forward to it!
thank you for these photos! we’re planning to see each other for the ceremony for practical reasons. now, after seeing the ‘first look’ photos, i’m excited to have this happen in private and to have a few quiet moments alone.
I’ve really been wanting to do this too … our ceremony is at 3:00 and it will only give us an hour before the cocktail hour and there’s no way we’ll be done and we’ll miss that time with our guests. I think I’d rather get some of our pictures done before the ceremony and then finish up afterward … brides don’t wear their rings for those pictures do they? Probably a silly question … not so important but just wondered. 
Thanks! *SmiLes* Suzanne
These pictures made me tear up! I love seeing the grooms face as he sees his soon to be wife for the first time. Such precious moments! I wanted to do a first look but my FI didn’t. He wants to see me when the doors to the church open. Maybe these pictures will change his mind.
I loved these photos. Originally we weren’t going to have our photographer capture our “first look” because my fiance wanted it to be more private. However, I’ve showed him some photos from WB and I think I’ve convinced him that we need to get this moment on camera!
For those brides who are planning (or have done) first look photos … what type of photo shoot do you do prior to your ceremony? Just the reveal pics or a bunch of couple shots? Any info would be helpful. Thanks!
@wahmsuzanne - hmmm now you have me thinking about that same ring thing as well…good question!
My FI and I are having a first look for lots of reasons. To help cal nerves, get lots of time for pictures without lots of pressure, but mainly because I want the look on his face captured when he sees me for the first time. I will never forget when my MOH got married, the look on her hubby’s face when he saw her for the first time walking down the aisle was priceless and it wasn’t caught on camera. 
That’s a moment I want to be sure and capture!
We are definitely doing the first look! I really had to sell it to him though. I’m so glad he has agreed to it!
Thank you for this post! Our families are extremely traditional and a lot of my ideas for our wedding are more modern. I have a hard time explaining why I’m not going with certain traditions… so this will be helpful.
Did you know that the carrying the bride over the threshold was started because the bride had to be forced into the house because it was “unladylike” for a woman to give herself to a man? wth uhm… that’s ridiculous.
I’m also walking myself down the aisle. I’ve been on my own since I was 16, and don’t need someone to give me away. I’m my own person.
I wonder why people still follow all of these traditions that have really weird origins.
i love first looks!! Thanks for the great inspiration.
I wanted to wait, because I wanted the moment I walk down the aisle to be really special, but my fiance insisted that we see each other before so we would have time for pictures…
Now I’m getting really excited about it!
Thanks for this post. I’m still undecided what we will do. This is a good argument for the first look.
We plan on having a first look as well. Since we are having a cocktail reception, our entire wedding is only 3 hours plus we’re getting married at 4pm and the sun will start to set at 4:30 in January.
Our photographer is going to set up the first look. We plan to take photos seperately with our families afterwards and we will do photos with the families together for 20 minutes after the ceremony. We really want to enjoy our time with your guest and enjoy our wedding - we don’t want the day to be a blur.
It took a lot of convincing, but I finally got my fiance to agree to this, and it was a beautiful and special moment. Only we and the photographers were there, so it was nice and private. If you don’t mind breaking tradition (I didn’t mind one bit because I’m a nontraditional gal), go for it!
[...] the ceremony. Wedding planner Kate Parker shares some favorite “First Look” pictures on here and claims that “the moment you first see each other is always magical–beyond [...]
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Kate Parker, New Hampshire
Vendor: Wedding Planner
Website: Kate Parker Weddings
About Me: Kate Parker is the owner of Kate Parker Weddings, a wedding planning and floral and event design studio located on the Seacoast of NH. KPW specializes in simple and sophisticated weddings throughout New England and New York and also provides lighting services, paper products, custom out of town welcome baskets and music entertainment. Kate loves to work with as many details as possible- ribbon banding, monograms, favor tags etc to make each wedding unique and fabulous! She lives in Somersworth, NH with her husband Ryan, son Zachary, and chihuahua Lola. Although she doesn't have much free time, Kate loves to travel, read a good book, and entertain for close friends.
I love this! I think that either way, it creates a very special moment (be it in the ceremony, or before hand), but I love the intimacy that goes into the first looks, pre-ceremony.