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Not surprisingly, we get a lot of inquires about invitation etiquette when we are working with couples on their wedding invitations. Because these questions are so common, I thought I'd share some of the most frequently asked etiquette questions we encounter. When in doubt, we often to turn to many of the same etiquette experts Kimberly shared before, including Crane's Wedding Blue Book and Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette by Peggy Post. If you're feeling lost, consider consulting a couple of different sources and then selecting an option that feels most in line with your personalities and your specific family dynamics.

{How can I include my deceased parents on the invitation?}
It is perfectly acceptable for a bride or groom to want to include the name of a deceased parent on their invitations and, more importantly, perfectly understandable. One thing to note is that you should select wording that does not give the appearance of the invitation being extended by the deceased parent. A good option is something along the lines of -

Jane Marie Smith
daughter of Mary Ann Smith and the late Joseph Smith
and
Michael Robert Williams
son of Mr. and Mrs. Donald Williams
request the honor of your presence at their marriage

Or this option if the deceased parent is that of the groom -

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith
together with
Mrs. Emily June Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the wedding of
Jane Marie Smith
and
Michael Robert Williams
son of
the late Mr. Donald Williams

{Do I need an inner envelope?}
While inner envelopes are considered traditional, we typically advise that they are not necessary unless you'd like to include them. Forgoing an inner envelope saves money, and it also saves paper, which makes it a more eco-friendly alternative. A useful purpose for the inner envelope, however, is to allow you to be very specific as to who is invited, so it may seem appropriate for your event. For instance, if children are not invited, a Mr. and Mrs. John Smith on the outer envelope and an inner envelope addressed to John and Mary should help communicate that to your guests.

{Where can I include my registry information?}
We are firm believers that registry information should never be included on nor enclosed with the wedding invitation itself. However, it is perfectly appropriate for this information to be included with bridal shower invitations, so many of your guests should know about your registries prior to receiving the wedding invitation anyhow. You might also consider listing your registry information on a wedding website and then providing your guests with your website address - chances are, they'll find the registry information on their own from there. We always encourage couples to refrain from printing this information on their invitations at the risk of looking pushy with regards to requests for gifts.

{How do I specify that the reception is for adults only?}
Opting for inner envelopes specifically addressed to the adults in the family only, as noted before, is one of the few ways you can politely make the point that no children are invited to the wedding. There is the possibility that some guests will take offense to language such as “Adult reception” or “No children please” printed on the invitation, so instead we suggest couples take care in addressing their invitations so that any wording such as “and family” or “The Smiths” is avoided. If you end up with guests RSVPing for more family members than you had intended, enlist a family member to help you make phone calls to explain the situation and clear up any confusion.

{Can I use a computer font to address my envelopes?}
While it's understandable that beautiful hand calligraphy does not make the budget of many couples, nothing compares to the thoughtful personal touch that comes with a hand addressed envelope. If your penmanship leaves something to be desired, consider asking a friend with nice handwriting to help address envelopes. A good pen and a little bit of time is all it really takes to make your envelopes look special. Mailing labels are a decided no-no, although we love this DIY version of calligraphy that Jenn pulled off at home with the help of her computer and some patience. If you're really concerned about getting the envelopes right, consider making a template with guidelines that you can slip into your envelope so you can help ensure your lines and placement are nice and even - a light table can help you pull this off if you have access to one.

While these are some of the most frequently asked questions, there are certainly countless others that we encounter regularly. If you have any specific questions let me know, and I'll be happy to help out!