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When I meet with couples, one of the first things I ask when we're going over ceremony structure is whether they plan to write their own vows. Sometimes, I get a lukewarm response – “Well…maybe.” After some questions, and a few suggestions, I usually get it out of them – they would like to have original and different vows, but don't want them to specifically be vows that they've written.
During my time as a Celebrant, I've culled a huge file of wedding vows – some original that I've borrowed from couples, some I've found in books or on the Internet, and some I've written myself. I present these to my couples as a jumping off point – a source of inspiration to begin to think about possibly creating their own vows. I find that often people will find vows they just love and edit them slightly to work for their situation.
Another idea that may work if you're looking for slightly different vows – find out what vows your parents used in their wedding ceremony. Some brides and grooms like the idea of using traditional vows, because they are the same words that people have used for generations when they married – the whole tradition of the ceremony itself. If you're planning an interfaith or multi-faith wedding, you may be able to find wedding vows that are traditional to the specific religion you'd like to honor.
Retta & Jack chose the same vows but chose not to say them. I read them aloud, and they agreed to them with “I do”
The best part? No one will know that you didn't write these vows yourself! If you choose slightly different vows than the traditional “to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live…” – most people will assume that you have written them yourself. And, as it is your big day, you can take all the credit for it. 
Here's a very popular vow that many couples choose – and I just love it too!
I take you, Dyana, to be my spouse,
my friend, my love, and my lifelong companion.
To share my life with yours,
To build our dreams together,
to support you through times of trouble,
and to rejoice with you in times of happiness.
I promise to treat you with respect, love and loyalty
through all the trials and triumphs of our lives together.
This commitment is made in love, kept in faith,
lived in hope, and eternally made new.
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@Mrs. Smith: Wow I thought you HAD to exchange vows- isn’t that part of a verbal contract that makes it legally binding?
@MissCamera: It depends on the state and the legal requirements. In some places, simply being there and signing the marriage license is enough to show that you are OK to get married.
@Mrs. Smith: I’ve never done a wedding where couples DIDN’T read vows, but I did do one where they exchanged them privately, during the ceremony, while a musical interlude was taking place. Though I think vows are an important part of the wedding ceremony, ultimately, it’s your wedding - and if you don’t want to include them, you don’t have to.
I am afraid to recite my own vows, but I really like choosing what my officiant will say, I still want meaning without the anxiety of trying to remember anything or read anything off a card! I am so glad there is a choice!
as much as marriage is based on love and mutual respect, I also see it as a binding contract requiring vows, and a promise. Interesting to hear other perspectives!
We did a combination - we started out with the traditional vows (something about saying the same thing people have said for generations was appealing to both of us) and then added a more contemporary promise at the end. The vow portion of our ceremony wasn’t overly long, but it’s definitely memorable.
[...] your own vows is a great and easy way to personalize your own ceremony. As I mentioned in my previous post, even personalizing pre-existing vows can help to create a wedding that really reflects who you [...]
Well, we have a Ketubah (marriage contract) the intent of which is to bind us in marriage - that felt like a pretty serious promise to us. Vows are not a part of the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony and including them would have felt weird to us.
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Jessie Blum, New Jersey
Vendor: Officiant
Website: Eclectic Unions
About Me: I began writing & officiating wedding ceremonies in 2008, and love every single moment of it. It all started when my best friend asked me to officiate her Jewish/Lutheran/Pagan (but completely non-religious!) wedding - since then, I've found a love and passion for creating original wedding ceremonies that truly reflect the couples being married. Wedding ceremonies should be all about the bride & groom's love, relationship, and commitment, and I do my best to make sure everything is just perfect! I live in Northern New Jersey with my fiance and our two kitties, and, when I'm not meeting with my awesome couples or writing wedding ceremonies, I love to knit, obsessively check my email, and plan my own wedding (Oct 2010!).
My husband and I did not exchange vows. We really didn’t want to say “I do” because we felt it wasn’t a part of our tradition (we’re jewish) and it made us uncomfortable. Anyway - just another option.