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Creating the wedding guest list is a breeze for some couples. For others it’s the source of some serious conflict.

The first thing to consider is whether you want a large wedding or one with a more intimate feel. Chances are you’ve chosen the latter and the task of creating your wedding guest list will be a little more challenging. (Can we really leave Aunt Hilda off the list?) However, first think about who you really want at your wedding.

Another factor that will come into play when creating your guest list is who’s footing the bill. If your parents are major financial contributors, then naturally they’ll have more say in who to invite. If you’re paying for the majority of your wedding you will have more control over the guest list.

Some questions to ask yourself when creating your guest list:

- Who are the important people in our lives?
- Is it necessary to invite co-workers?
- Are we including guests simply out of guilt? (i.e. They invited you to their weddings.)
- Are we including guests that we haven’t seen within the last year?
- What if a guest does not have a significant other. Are we allowing guests to bring dates?
- Do we want to invite children?
- What about extended family? Is it necessary to invite second cousins and great aunts?

Going small

Although intimate weddings can be lovely, having a small guest list can mean some difficult decisions because it will mean that some people in your lives will be excluded. This can result in hurt feelings.

Also, parents might not agree with your idea of having an intimate wedding. They might be upset by the idea that certain family members will be excluded. Friends and co-workers that aren’t invited might also take offence at your decision to go small.

It will require strength to deal with people that don’t agree with your decision to have an intimate wedding. There is a chance that some people might feel left out. However, the chances of that happening are a lot less likely if you are honest with them. Gently let people who have not been invited (and think they should be) know that you are having a small wedding and that you are only having a few guests.

Chances are that given the current state of the economy, several of your friends, acquaintances and distant family might actually feel relieved that they don’t have to come up with hundreds of dollars in travel expenses and wedding gifts.

Not everyone will come around. That’s okay. This is your wedding. Stay true to yourselves. Besides, you can always have a post-wedding party to include those that aren’t invited to your wedding!

Photo: Anne Ruthmann Photography