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I knew when Mike, the groom, emailed me and told me that his fiance, Chris, was going to place a special bug smooshing clause into her vows that we would get along well.
Chris and Mike were so much fun to work with. Mike told me he wanted to have a lot of laughs in their ceremony, so I tried to be as light-hearted as possible, while still capturing the importance and reverence of their day (and to make the parents happy!).
There were a lot of fun details that went into creating their ceremony – let me share just a few with you:
I threw some Star Wars/Star Trek wording into my remarks.
As soon as September comes around, I start looking towards the trees, waiting for them to explode with color, and become bright and red and orange and yellow. Fall is my favorite season – I love the slight chill in the air, the wonderful smells, pumpkins, apples, and that slightly soft and smoky scent you can catch in the air.
Now, take a wedding, and put it in the fall? Totally my favorite!
So this week's Esty Friday is inspired by my favorite season – August can't end soon enough! Autumn, I'm waiting for you!
[White Pumpkin Basket via April Hiler Designs]
I LOVE these little white pumpkin baskets, perfect for the flower girl to scatter petals out of, or even to have your bridesmaids carry with a small floral arrangement inside. Beautiful!
Part 1: Meet Sarah & John!
Part 2: First Meeting, First Outline
Part 3: Creating Rituals
Sarah and John had a lot of interesting ways to incorporate their family and friends into their wedding ceremony, but this had to be my favorite: their readers.
They asked six of their friends (three couples) to each choose a reading to present during the wedding ceremony. I thought it was great that they were going to let their friends choose the readings, so they could pick something that they thought was very representative and appropriate for Sarah and John. But here's the big thing: they asked me to keep the readings a secret from that!
That's right – the readers “reported” directly into me. I placed the readings into the ceremony, based on their content, and had full veto power if something wasn't quite right or a duplicate. But the bride and groom had no idea what was going to be read at their wedding!
I sent the readers an email, with some of my favorite wedding reading resources, a deadline, and encouraged them to use me as a resource as well – to ask me any questions, have me offer suggestions, or simply point them in the right direction. But all six friends did a fabulous job and picked perfect readings for the wedding!
The first reading was a selection of notes that Charles Darwin had written down in his sketchbook – the pros and cons of getting married. It was a piece I had never seen before, and I love it!
Jessica and Steve got married in the beautiful Kirkpatrick Chapel, on the grounds of Rutgers, in New Brunswick, NJ. They wanted a secular interpretation of a traditional Christian ceremony, so I worked with them to personalize a few elements and really make the ceremony feel like them (like a few mentions of their cats and the story of their engagement).
They used one of my suggested vows, which I just love, and did them “repeat after me style,” where I broke them into chunks, and they repeated them – no memorization, and no little piece of paper to hold – they could just look at each other.
On their first date, Rachel and Stephen went on a short hike, in Jockey Hollow State Park in Morristown. So it was only appropriate that they would take the walk together again, this time with a couple of friends and a celebrant in tow, to make their wedding vows on a beautiful green overlook on a humid August day.
If you are writing your own ceremony, don't be afraid to think outside of the box when it comes to your Marriage Address, that moment where your officiant talks about marriage and love and places it in context of your relationship.
In my wedding ceremonies, I include a Love Story - the story of the couple! It's based on their past and experience - how they met, how they fell in love, and how they decided that this was it, that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. It's always sweet, always funny, and I try to elicit both laughter and a few tears with each of them, because that's how I think a relationship should be - full of emotion.
The Love Story is in place of the sermon, homily, or officiant's address in a more traditional ceremony - so instead of making generalities about marriage and love, and offering advice on how to create a good marriage - I use my couple's own words to explain WHY they are a good match, why they love each other, and why they have made the choice to stand before their family and friends today, to declare their love and devotion to each other. I think it's a great thing to include because no one will ever have it in their ceremony other than you - it really makes your ceremony all about you and your partner, and truly makes it unlike any other wedding ceremony that will ever exist!
But how do I write this, if I don't know the couples?
I give them homework!
Well, I usually also meet my couples in person, or have some phone conversations with them, too, to get a good sense of the kind of ceremony and Love Story they are looking for. Some people want to get a certain feeling across, or not have as much humor - and I can tell from speaking and meeting people a bit about this. But the homework is really where I get most of my details and information about the Love Story from.
For all of the brides and grooms who are having a friend officiate their wedding, here are some tips and ideas from a professional wedding celebrant to make sure that your day runs smoothly. Feel free to print this out and hand it to your officiant, and it may help to look it over yourself as well!
*Be prepared! Read through the ceremony a few times, and feel free to make notes on your version of the script. Make sure all of the props are set up, and that you have copies of the vows and the readings.
*Format it! Format the script in a way that is easy for you to read - perhaps color coding or highlighting important elements or directions. Make sure to take page turns into consideration, and format it so it is easiest for you to read, in an easy to read, large font.
*Plan where you are going to stand! For my ceremonies, I prefer the couples to face each other, or slightly face out - not facing the officiant (I am sure the bride's dress is beautiful in the back, but everyone wants to see their faces!). Find the best place for you to stand - perhaps in between them, or maybe slightly to the side, with the couple in the middle.
*Get amped! Using a microphone and amplification is a must - you want everyone to be able to hear you, the readers, and the bride and groom during their vows. The DJ, venue, or ceremony musicians can often provide a wireless mic to use. Pass it to the readers and the couple for the readings and the vows.
*Keep the love! When readers or other participants come up - feel free to have a moment, and give the bride and groom some love (a big hug!) afterwards.
I had some time between meetings and weddings this weekend, and found myself at one of my favorite places -the craft store. I had no particular items or needs in mind (a dangerous way to enter, to be sure! That's when the yarn leaps off the shelves and into my basket), when I spied that faux flowers were 50% off, and I had an idea!
This wasn't my usual wedding.
MJ contacted me a few weeks ago – she and her fiance wanted a simple, quick, and personal wedding, but weren't sure of the location or the date yet. When we met up, she told me her idea, and it was awesome: have the wedding, with just a few friends as witnesses, at a tattoo parlor on a Saturday afternoon…and follow it up by getting each other's initials tattooed on their ring fingers.
I didn't hesitate before saying yes!
The processional is an important element of any wedding ceremony. It helps to separate this special moment from the everyday, as most people don't get grand entrances, complete with music, escorts, and flowers, too often. It also helps to honor special people in your life who have contributed and supported you, by giving them a special moment as well.
Typically, anyone who you would give flowers to (corsage, bouts, etc) is involved with the processional. This usually includes:
It does not usually include:
Which isn't to say it can't.
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Jessie Blum, New Jersey
Vendor: Officiant
Website: Eclectic Unions
About Me: I began writing & officiating wedding ceremonies in 2008, and love every single moment of it. It all started when my best friend asked me to officiate her Jewish/Lutheran/Pagan (but completely non-religious!) wedding - since then, I've found a love and passion for creating original wedding ceremonies that truly reflect the couples being married. Wedding ceremonies should be all about the bride & groom's love, relationship, and commitment, and I do my best to make sure everything is just perfect! I live in Northern New Jersey with my fiance and our two kitties, and, when I'm not meeting with my awesome couples or writing wedding ceremonies, I love to knit, obsessively check my email, and plan my own wedding (Oct 2010!).
