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Lauren and Tom were married at the English Manor in Ocean, NJ, on the Saturday of what had been an incredibly rainy and dreary week. But, thankfully, the clouds stayed away, and we could have the ceremony in the beautiful gardens out back.
Lauren and Tom have a really incredible Love Story – they met in their English class, their freshman year of high school – and for Tom, it was love at first sight. He has been in love with her from the moment he met her. They were friends in high school, and then lost touch after graduation. When their ten year high school reunion rolled around – Tom had no intention of going. But he decided to look up the one person he wished was still in his life – and found Lauren. How sweet is that!
It is so obvious to anyone who meets Lauren and Tom how freaking in love they are. In fact, that’s one of the requests Tom put in his homework – “If they remember one thing for the rest of their lives I want them to remember that at least once in their lives they saw two people who defined love.”
They wrote their own vows, and we also incorporated a handfasting, where they repeated vows while bound together.
When you’re choosing an officiant (be it hiring a wonderful celebrant, or asking a dear friend or family member to lead your ceremony), it’s important to make sure that they can legally officiate your marriage.
Case in point: when my mom and stepdad got married (ten years ago this November!), my stepdad was in charge of finding the rabbi. They met with him once before hand, and my stepdad decided that he was the one! When he showed up for the wedding - well, we’re pretty sure he had been drinking. During the ceremony, he went on and on about my parent’s May/December romance (uhm.. they’re less than five years apart!), and was just generally strange.
A sweet beginning to the ceremony.. walking my mom down the aisle.
My mom says that immediately after the ceremony, she and my stepfather retreated to a room to be by themselves for the yichud, a Jewish tradition. The rabbi knocked on the door and asked them for the check! “Made out to Cash, please,” he also asked.
Rehearsal dinners are always a blast. More low-key than the wedding dinner the next day, everyone’s super excited for the upcoming nuptials, and it allows the bride, groom, bridal party, and parents to have some quality time to relax, eat some good food, and have a fabulous time before the big day!
But sometimes people forget about the actual purpose behind the Rehearsal dinner – the rehearsal! It’s an important element of the wedding ceremony, and can really help to alleviate stress on the day of the wedding.
I don’t always suggest having a rehearsal – if you’re having a very straightforward wedding ceremony (no rituals or ceremonies in the ceremony itself, a minimal wedding party, no music changes or cues), it’s not always necessary. But I do recommend having a rehearsal if you have more than three people on each side of the wedding party, children involved in any way, shape or form, or any rituals or traditions that you may want to practice. It’s also a great way to have everyone in the wedding party get to know who everyone else is on the day of, which can make everything run really smoothly on your wedding day.
The whole bridal party! The people standing were “honored guests,” like grandparents and parents, who walked down the aisle and then were seated.
Before we met to discuss their ceremony, Sarah sent me a basic outline that included the elements and people that she and John knew they wanted to include in their ceremony. I melded this with my basic outline for structure, and so, going into our first meeting, I had a very good idea of what their ceremony was going to be like.
Here is the outline Sarah sent me:
Processional.
Circle of Love:
The bride & groom’s siblings and their family members will walk down the aisle, and place a flower along the edge of the circle, forming a Circle of Love that the couple will be married in.
Groom will enter with his parents.
Bride will enter with her parents.
Welcome Message.
Readings.
Three total.
Tree Planting Ceremony.
Blessing & Exchange of Rings.
Closing Remarks, Declaration of Marriage, & Kiss!
And here’s the outline that I brought to our meeting:
Over Memorial Day weekend, Donna and Ryan were married at Costa del Sol in Union, NJ. Their wedding ceremony was so much fun! I knew from the moment we met that their ceremony was going to be really funny and very sweet. They both have a great sense of humor, and love to make each other laugh, and their ceremony really
reflected that.
Meet Sarah and John.
They’re getting married at the Chesterwood Estate & Museum in Stockbridge, MA, in July (take a moment to check out their venue - isn’t it cool?).
I always say that the coolest people find me and ask me to lead their wedding ceremonies - and Sarah and John are no exception. In fact, I found Sarah - she’s a pretty awesome photographer, and I contacted her about photographing my wedding in October of 2010.
We met in January, and discussed weddings - both of ours (that’s the celebrant in me, I guess, even when I’m supposed to be talking about my own wedding, I need to know about other bride’s ceremonies!). She and her fiance had a lot of really cool ideas of different rituals, ceremonies, and traditions to incorporate into their wedding, and it sounded like their wedding was going to be a blast!
So, a few months later, my fiance and I had decided that Sarah is the one to photograph our wedding. And then I get an email from her, asking me to officiate her wedding! I didn’t have to hesitate before absolutely saying yes!
Layla and Lewis were married earlier this year at the Valley Brook Golf Club in River Vale, NJ. I had so much fun getting to know them and learning their story. They also introduced me to a great Greek restaurant – After Athens in Rutherford – two blocks from my apartment that I hadn’t been to – they have the most fabulous chai!
Back in March, on Pi Day, at the Maryland Science Center, in the Planetarium (
!), my friends Marisa and Patrick officially tied the knot.
Their wedding was so them! From their groomsdog, Einstein (who even stayed for the reception and danced the night away!), to the Periodic Table of Seating, the hand-folded origami flower centerpieces and bouquets, to the mini-beakers filled with LED tea lights used as escort cards and ambiance. And that’s just off the top of my head!
Periodic Table of Seating Chart
Even though you’re reading my posts, do you still have questions about what exactly a celebrant is?
The fabulous Celebrant Foundation, where I was trained, put together this promotional video, to showcase everything they offer and encourage others to “Love the art of life – become a celebrant!”
If you’re not interesting in diving in, head first, to the world of ceremony and celebrants, it’s still a fabulous resource to learn more about what a celebrant really is!
Take a look!
Many of my couples, who are getting married in the summer and fall of 2009, have requested handfastings!
If you’re not familiar with handfasting – it’s quite literally, “tying the knot.” Though “handfasting” is often used in Pagan circles as the term for the entire wedding ceremony, the handfasting I’m referring to is a unity ritual, often going after the ring vows and before the closing of the ceremony. The couple takes hands (like they’re shaking hands – right into right and left into left). Their hands are then wrapped with a cord, symbolizing the joining of their lives and hearts. Each wrap represents a step towards complete commitment to each other. At the end, the couple remains there, for a moment, and then the cord is removed before the end of the ceremony.
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Jessie Blum, New Jersey
Vendor: Officiant
Website: Eclectic Unions
About Me: I began writing & officiating wedding ceremonies in 2008, and love every single moment of it. It all started when my best friend asked me to officiate her Jewish/Lutheran/Pagan (but completely non-religious!) wedding - since then, I've found a love and passion for creating original wedding ceremonies that truly reflect the couples being married. Wedding ceremonies should be all about the bride & groom's love, relationship, and commitment, and I do my best to make sure everything is just perfect! I live in Northern New Jersey with my fiance and our two kitties, and, when I'm not meeting with my awesome couples or writing wedding ceremonies, I love to knit, obsessively check my email, and plan my own wedding (Oct 2010!).
