Weddingbee PRO
Here are a couple more pictures from the Modern Bride Trendsetters Dinner that the pr agency sent over. It’s the only pictures I have of myself accepting the award! 
Christian Siriano looking fierce as always.
I attend a fair number of wedding related events, but don’t always get around to blogging about all of them. Editing, resizing, and uploading pictures are actually what take up the most time, and not the actual writing of the post. But I’ve been very fortunate to have two wonderful summer interns who have been helping me catch up on the post front by editing and uploading my pictures for me!
I recently attended an intimate bridal show at the Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier - where I purchased my own wedding dress over 4 years ago. All the dresses were so intricate and gorgeous. I have developed such an appreciation for a well-made gown, having seen so many up close over the past couple of years.
UPDATE #2: Someone submitted this post to The Consumerist!
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UPDATE: The owner of Urban Expressions responded to my email shortly after this post went up earlier today. This is what he or she said:
if the customer responds to me with several foul mouthed emails, they get foul mouthed replys right back. i figured if “fucks” and “shits” and “bitches” was her preferred tongue, I’d speak her language.
by the way i sold this company and all rights to its 1.7 million in inventory as of last week. it now operates under a new name, and at a new address as soon as they are done moving..
so you are wasting your time bashing it, but feel free. I have my money in my hand now.. so bash away ok..have a nice day, and have fun being an E-warrior hiding in the depths of the anonymus internet blogs that no one reads..
But Mrs. Martini’s friend only wrote that one email below. Her fiance did write an angry email to Urban Expressions without her knowledge, but that was only in response to the owner’s comments below. I believe that it was not a customer service agent that left those comments, as it appears to be a very small company, but the owner him/herself?!
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Mrs. Martini was supposed to help a friend create her escort cards over a recent weekend, and they had been waiting on a craft punch to arrive in the mail. When the website where the punch was purchased showed that it hadn’t been shipped some time after the order had been placed, Mrs. Martini’s friend wrote them the following email:
I ordered this over a week ago and it still has not been shipped!! Your shipping policy states that most items will be shipped within 48 hours unless otherwise specified - you guys did not specify otherwise! When will this item be shipped out?? I would like some kind of compensation for the delay. Sincerely, *****
Since I answer most of the customer service emails at Weddingbee and get all kinds of emails from users, I can understand that the tone of the email might have irked the person who responded. However, this was the response she received:
I’ve mentioned Rebecca Grinnals several times in past posts on Weddingbee, but she really has been like my wedding fairy godmother. I met a very enthusiastic Rebecca very shortly after we launched — she just “got” Weddingbee right away, and has been a champion of the site ever since. I’m extremely introverted and hate networking, so Rebecca introduced me to everyone in the industry when I was just starting out. She also encouraged me to speak at all three of her Engage conferences, and despite being terrified of public speaking, there was no way I could say no! She is warm, genuine, and one of the savviest people in the wedding industry today. You will never meet anyone who has a negative word to say about her — which is how she was able to get such a superstar line-up of speakers at Engage! 09 Something Blue! Thank you Rebecca for everything you’ve done for me and Weddingbee. I’m honored to call you my friend!
So without further ado, here is my monster recap of this legendary event!
The “Something Blue” theme was carried throughout the entire conference. All images are by the talented and generous Stacey Kane unless otherwise noted.
There has been a lot of discussion about day of coordinators on Weddingbee recently, so I want to differentiate between what I call the true DOC (an emerging trend in recent years) and the DOC+.
When I got married four years ago, I hired a coordinator about 2 months out before my wedding. While the services were called day of coordination, they would probably be more appropriately named month of coordination, or day of coordination plus. Not only did my planners oversee the entire wedding day, they referred several of my last minute vendors, accompanied me to meetings, managed all contracts and vendor communication, and most importantly they were prepared to tackle all the unexpected emergencies that arose that day. Traditionally, these services were within the scope of day of coordination packages.
What we’ve been seeing lately is brides who act as their own planners, researching, diy-ing, designing, and planning every aspect of their weddings. But because they’ll be busy on their wedding day getting married, they want someone there to execute and oversee all their hard work on the day of. Many brides these days are looking for a true day of only coordinator, often on a small budget.
I know this can be a contentious topic amongst professional wedding planners because there is no shortage of newcomers to the industry who charge very little and have commensurate experience.
But I’m really interested in hearing… Brides - are you looking for a true day of only coordinator or a DOC+? Planners - do you offer true day of only services?
One of the most important things we edit in posts and look for in our bloggers, is the Weddingbee tone. Because of my experience with not-so-nice sites when I was planning my own wedding, it has always been my goal to create a friendly, snark-free wedding community. Inflection doesn’t translate over the world wide web like it does in person, so I’m always hyper vigilant when it comes to tone on our sites. Basically whenever a statement is questionable, I ask myself, “Is this annoying in any way?”
With our Bee bloggers, the two biggest areas we try to be careful around are money and weight. For instance, we would never publish the following statements:
Of course these are exaggerated, but we’re careful about these topics because they often elicit emotional responses from readers.
When it comes to our PRO bloggers, we try to avoid the expert tone that you typically see in magazines. While it tends to work well for magazines, blogs are interactive so I like to relate to our audience on a much more personal level. I don’t like talking down to our super savvy readers in any way.
The point of this post is that running Weddingbee has permanently altered the way I perceive tone in everything. For instance I was watching the reality tv program Top Design, and it bothered me how Isaac Mizrahi constantly referred to the designers as “kids” and “children” because it felt like he was talking down to them. I recently started reading Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster after many rave recommendations, but put it down after a couple of pages. The snarky tone, which is understandably very popular, just isn’t my cup of tea. Of course this is all a personal preference for me and my vision for Weddingbee. I probably just see the world through Weddingbee tinted glasses.
Do you pick up on things like this, or am I the only crazy one?
Engage 09 in the Cayman Islands was, in one word, LEGENDARY. You can catch up on all the tweets about it here – most of us came back on Wednesday, but there are some party peeps still on the island! While I gather pictures from some of the many fabulous photographers that were there, I thought I’d share a video clip from a party on the last night of the conference.
Two of my favorite people in the wedding industry - 79 years young Sylvia Weinstock and Kleinfeld/Say Yes to the Dress’ Randy Fenoli — showed us all how to bust a move!
Engage 09 Party Time! from Weddingbee on Vimeo.
Don’t worry — I have permission from both of them to post this video. You have to watch until the end because Sylvia grabbing Randy’s belt is the absolute best part! Sylvia told me to go ahead and post the video because she wanted to show the world that you’re never too old. Randy told me that this was destined to go on youtube. This actually happened in the beginning of the night, so you can imagine how much crazier the night got later in the evening!
It wasn’t all partying however, although there was a lot of that going on… we also learned, connected and networked. More on that soon! Have a fantastic weekend everyone!
I flew down on a turbulent flight with Carley Roney of the Knot, Randy Fenoli of Kleinfeld and Say Yes to the Dress, floral extraordinaire Michelle Rago, and Antonia Van der Meer of Modern Bride yesterday. Luckily we all made it in one piece!
We arrived at the beautiful Ritz Carlton Cayman Islands around noon. After checking in, I worked by the pool until I got too hot (but I don’t miss the rainy NY weather), and enjoyed a stunning welcome party on the beach designed by Michelle Rago, complete with fireworks!
The Engage09 xonference officially began at 8:30am, and I’ll be live blogging throughout the day!
Cayman Islands time (1 hour ahead of EST)
8:45am - Rebecca Grinnals, the mastermind behind Engaging Concepts and the Engage conferences, gave her intro. She has been a friend to Weddingbee since our launch, and is a force to be reckoned with!
9:05am - Carley Roney of theknot is doing a presentation on wedding statistics based on a study they conducted in 2008. Some interesting facts: the younger the bride the bigger the wedding. 2/3 of couples have at least one signature element. Biggest area brides are cutting back in this economy: videographers and wedding planners in this economy. 15% use a wedding planner - almost half used “day of” only. 20% of couples have destination weddings (200 miles or more away). Brides say the number #1 they would use to describe their wedding vision is “elegant.”
9:35am - Liene of Think Splendid just twittered a pic of me live blogging!
9:45am - I’m doing an interview with a cable tv show that’s doing a special on Engage09 in an hour and a half. Thinking about what to say about trends, tips, and memorable moments at real weddings I’ve attended.
9:48am - btw — you can follow me on Twitter @ http://twitter.com/bee_kim
9:49am - Carley just addressed two of my biggest pet peeves: down with streaming music and long flash intros!
9:50am - Rebecca Grinnals says to put a picture of yourself on your site. This is such a high touch industry, people want to know what you look like.
9:55am - Darcy Miller, Senior Vice President of Martha Stewart Weddings, is up. Darcy is always so sweet to me whenever we run into each other at events. She’s talking about how brides submit Real Weddings to be featured in the magazine (you need to fill out a form). Only 5% of submissions get published. Showcasing Cheree Berry’s (cutest name ever?) Real Wedding coming out in the upcoming summer issue. On the Today Show throws a wedding with Martha Stewart, they were trying to get Danny Devito drive the getaway cab, but somehow Scott Baio ended up driving. Darcy is sharing pix and stories from her own wedding. Check out her insane wedding scrapbook here! Antony Todd did her flowers and Sylvia Weinstock did her cake (I’m supposed to teach Sylvia how to Twitter later!).
10:24am - Confession: I haven’t thought about what I’m going to say on my panel tomorrow at all. Everyone is such a naturally great speaker, it makes me nervous! I’m sitting next to Liene, who is twittering the conference, and who I will be speaking with tomorrow.
10:33am - Someone in the audience asks Darcy what they look for when they select Real Weddings. Darcy says: highly personalized, has a vision, inspirational, doesn’t necessarily have a big budget… sometimes it’s just a matter of balancing what they already have. Real Weddings submission forms is going on their website soon — Shira Sabata is the editor who collects Real Weddings so you can email her. MS Weddings wants to know about your wedding when you have enough details down, but early enough so they can fit it into their schedule.
10:45am - Went to the bathroom and missed some of the audience questions, but Fabuluxe had a great tweet: Darcy makes a point: no trend is overplayed or overdone. We’ve planned many weddings, but it’s still the bride’s first #engage09
10:58am - Sylvia Weinstock just joined Twitter — she is so funny and witty, she’s going to be a great twitterer. Between liveblogging the conference, following everyone’s tweets, and squeezing work in between, it’s quite a bit of multitasking. We’re taking a break for 15 min now… be back soon!
11:12am - So sad I’m going to have to miss Marcy Blum speaking because I have to head to my interview shortly. She is hilarious and tells it like it is!
12:07pm - Just got back from filming my interview. Phew! I think I did ok, but it was nerve-wracking! Mentioned a story about Mrs. Cherry Pie and why she chose Polebridge, Montana as her vene… they loved it and I hope they use it! The show will appear at an unknown date on one of the cable networks like Style or WE. Bee on the lookout for me dressed like a bee (yellow dress and black shoes 
)!
12:12pm - Millie Martini-Bratten, Editor in Chief of Brides Magazine is up! Rebecca has been like my wedding fairy godmother and has introduced me to wedding titans like Millie over the past three years.
12:17pm - Brides is the largest wedding magazine in the world. Millie is walking us through things that influenced wedding dress trends over the years like Gone With the Wind, Cinderella…
12:18pm - Checking out all the raving tweets about Marcy’s speech and am sad to have missed it!
12:34pm - Breaking for lunch. BRB!
1:28pm - Back from lunch where I sat next to Abby and her husband of Style Me Pretty and had a lovely conversation!
1:42pm - People still streaming in from lunch. I should start taking pictures with all of the fabulous people here. You get so busy chatting with so many different people, you forget! Who are you dying to see dear readers? I just took a pic with Darcy and Abby at lunch so I have one down and lots more to go!
1:49pm - Sylvia Weinstock is up! She is almost 80 years young, has been married 60 years (her husband Ben is here with her), and is one of the funniest, most real people around. I tried on her iconic glasses at the last Engage!
Here I am pictured with Kathryn Arce — the other half of Engaging Concepts.
1:54pm - Sylvia is showing us a slideshow of some of her gorgeous cake creations.
2:11pm - Each of the speakers is hosting a dinner at a different restaurant around the Cayman Islands. Since I came to the Cayman Islands on a press trip two years ago, I’m glad that I don’t have to go far and will be staying here at 7 at the Ritz!
2:12pm - Sylvia says people often ask her how she feels about people copying her work. She said you should feel sorry for them for not being able to come up with an original idea — “a copy is never an original!” And no on kickbacks! Sylvia works 7 days a week.
2:25pm - Rebecca says Sylvia pioneered branding in the wedding industry with her glasses. Sylvia says she saved her husband money because she can’t wear big diamond earrings with her big glasses.
2:32pm - Antonia van der Meer is on the podium and talking about Modern Bride Trendsetters. Modern Bride is 65 years old. The trendsetters is about looking forward to the future and adding to the strength and excitement of the wedding industry. She wanted to bring the same kind of recognition that other industries had to the wedding industry. The first list was 6 years ago. The first list included an organic chef, which has since become a big trend.
2:35pm - All trendsetters, past and present (including little ol me), just stood up. Other trendsetters I’m honored to be included among that are present here: Lisa Hoffman of CeciNY, Tara Guerard of Soiree, Preston Bailey, Michelle Rago, Sylvia Weinstock…
2:36pm - The list is a combination of people you expect like Vera Wang, and people you might not know like Robert Kalt who repurposes the items left over from events to people in need. They get recommendations from staff, advisory members, past trendsetters… People who are innovating or originated an idea.
2:43pm - Watching a video from 2007 on Modern Bride Trendsetters set to Coldplay featuring Mindy Weiss, Lisa Hoffman, Marcy Blum, Michelle Rago, Ron Ben-Israel, Bentley Meeker, Terry Gruber, Preston Bailey, Sylvia Weinstock, Colin Cowie…
2:50pm - The first Modern Bride Trendsetters event resulted in 1 million pageviews for Modern Bride. This year’s event resulted in 60 million pageviews in the first 48 hours.
2:55pm - I’m going to ask Antonia a question…. I asked her since Modern Bride often focuses on originators of ideas, is that why there are so few photographers named as trendsetters? Send emails to Holly Madison (photos) and Betsy Goldberg (news) and get your work in front of Modern Bride.
3:02pm - Attendees are picking random envelopes to see who they will be dining with this evening.
3:05pm - Short break and rum cake tasting time!
3:38pm - Chatted with Thayer and Alison Hotchkiss during the break. Motivational speaker Simon T. Bailey is up now!
3:41pm - Simon asks — what would you do if no one paid you to do it? What makes you come alive? Because what the world needs is people who come alive. Honestly? I’d be blogging.
3:43pm - Am sitting between Antonia van der Meer, Darcy Miller, Carley Roney and Marcy Blum. Wedding superstar overload!
3:45pm - Simon says: Release Your Brilliance: Be a Storyteller. Am I creating the tomorrow that I want to live in. And if that is so, what story am I telling today, because my story is building my brand. Why am I here, what can I do, and where am I going?
3:56pm - Vuja de - The opposite of de javu as coined by George Carlin. Looking at something with your eyes but seeing it differently. Examples: Google, Apple. They’ve taken something everyone knows and they’ve flipped it. In your business, what is the vuja de? That’s what becomes your personal brand, your story.
4:00pm - How you start the day, determines your day. The future is created in the present. Spend a few minutes each morning getting centered.
4:06pm - It’s 2019, What is your greatest achievement? The secret of your brilliance is hidden in what you really, really, really want. It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not that holds you back. (That last statement is so true for me!) We had to list 10 goals we will achieve within the next ten years… mine included: having 2 children, buying my in-laws a house, selling at least 3 companies, having the option to retire but not wanting to, being happy, and leaving my mark on the world.
4:13pm - Comparison inferiority complex - when you compare yourself to others and want what they have. You begin to reflect on the outside how you feel on the inside.
4:18pm - Simon took a volunteer from the audience and wrote her top 10 achievements. Now he’s asking her which ones are the most important. Is having a multimillion dollar empire more important than being in love with your husband? Interesting exercise in determining what is truly most important to you.
4:27pm - Brilliance is a process — not a one time event. Brilliance is a marathon, not a sprint.
4:34pm - Simon’s favorite books: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, Connie Podesta, Tribes by Seth Godin, Alchemy by Paulo Coelho.
4:39pm - Just asked Darcy and Carley how many real wedding submissions they get on average. Darcy is not sure, Carley says maybe around 100/month? I also asked if they publish Real Weddings that have already been published on the web, and they both said no.
4:42pm - Simon says: Failure is not final. Failure is only feedback. And failure is the breakfast of brilliant ones. The greatest gift is the gift of failure. Let it go. Slow down in order to speed up. Relax and it will come. Not on your timetable, but when you’re ready.
4:46pm - Preston Bailey. He is an amazing speaker and it’s no surprise they’ve saved him for last! Preston says Marcy Blum is the funniest woman he knows (they are very good friends irl). She brings in clients that are in love with her because of her sense of humor.
4:50pm - Preston on branding — what is it that makes you uniquely different? He thinks wanting to be the best in the industry is the wrong approach. You want to figure out how to be different. Preston is talking about how deathly jealous he was of Colin Cowie, esp when he saw him on Oprah and then when someone mistakenly said to him, “Oh my god! I love you Colin!”
4:56pm - Seven years ago, Preston owed a million and a half dollars… until he hired Sean Low. Sean is opening is own company in a month — he has always been very kind to me, and he’s brilliant if you’re looking for business advice!
5:06pm - We’re watching a slideshow of some of Preston’s work. He has worked on some of the most lavish events around the entire world, including a wedding for 5000 people! Preston: Yes folks it’s wonderful to have a big budget. I admit it, I admit it. Preston usually offers three concept designs for his clients.
5:08pm - Preston sells and designs and promotes himself. Nothing else. In order to grow, you need to choose what it is you like to do best, and try to hire someone to do the stuff you don’t want to do. It’s time to reinvent yourself. If Preston can do it in 6 years, we can all do it.
5:11pm - Responding to an audience question, Preston says he and Colin are friends. What Colin sells is elegance. Preston sells showbiz, over the top. Two completely different approaches. He also flashed us his abs.
5:13pm - Preston: we are in the business of service. Give your clients the confidence that you will not only give them good service, but also go that extra step.
5:15pm - Time for book signings and photo ops. I’m headed back to my hotel to change and take a little breather before dinner. Fantastic day of speakers, but exhausted already! Day began at 7am. Dinner at 7pm. Dessert Reception by the pool at 9:15. It’s going to be a 16 hour day.
Thanks for following along!
I just received my flight confirmation and itinerary for Engage 09, a 3 day conference in the Cayman Islands I’ll be speaking at later this month! That reminds me that I need to:
1) Purchase some summerwear. I’m in love with this entire set from Orla Kiely!
and 2) Get some media training.
It’s taken me long enough to blog about this! I’m waiting on some pro pics, but here are a couple pictures from my little Canon point and shoot from the Modern Bride Trendsetter Awards dinner earlier this month.
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Mrs. Bee, New York
Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet
Engagement Date: May 7, 2004
Wedding Date: March 5, 2005
Venue: Westside Loft, New York
About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
